I have faith things are going to turn out good. I’m ready!
Just need to get some thoughts out of my mind. And to all who’s reading and knows me keep your mouth shut please tumblr is a place where i can express how i feel without going back telling people about it. So here I go. I know i am young and all but I am out of school got a job and starting college very soon. I love the man I am with very much. But in an adult relationship I’d expect by 2 years we’d at least have a car and better jobs. We’ve kinda been in the same situation for 2 years. Working the same job, no car, no home. I mean he rents a room with some friends but he’s almost 21 and I am almost 18. I want a lil home or an APT. Idc I just kinda want to have our own independence. That takes a lot of work I know but I am ready to do it and make it happen. Sometimes I feel like he’s not. If I even mention these feelings to him or told him he’ll just be like “Yeah i know kaylyn but all that’s not easy to do and blah blah blah” Then he just get’s mad at me for talking about it…. Like WTF do I do? Sometimes I think maybe I should just leave him and find someone who’s ready for all this. At the same time though I think well if I wait we can make it happen. I love him I don’t want to leave him , but how long can I wait? Maybe after we get a car things will change and I really hope so cause I am happy. Then again I am young and I don’t know if I should just settle for the first adult relationship i’ve had in my life. My ex messaged me today and we was just having a casual convo and we talked about maybe seeing eachother and hanging out and …. IDK Like it sounds nice and I miss going and doing things with people, Just Temptations and other things aren’t want I need. Maybe I am just to young to have these issues. I just need to do me and only worry about ME. I just love love and always want someone with me I just can’t stay single. I like being in a happy situation. I know things can’t always be butterflys and cupcakes but I like when things are better most of the time then worse. It just seems with me and my man we fight over stupid shit and always are treating to leave one another and that’s not healthy. It’s both our problems but neither of us can meet in the middle and make it work. Yeah we have good times but there never that GREAT! I don’t want a lot I just want a guy who has more to look forward to in life besides video games and pot. I am scared if I tell him we need some time apart so I can do me for a little while and find out what I really want he’s never going to take me back. If he did that to me though i’d be hurt and confused why but idk :p I wish someone could tell me what to do but I gotta learn myself. It just hurts so much :c
Just agh t(-_-)t Got in a fight… Just idk… not a fist fight but verbal with my man. I just feel so wishy washy and don’t really know what to think or how I feel. I am in love been together almost 2 years… Just sometimes he makes me question what we really have :( I just need a <3 2 <3 with someone.